Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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