I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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