I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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