Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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