Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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