u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Yo dont text me then not text me
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
