It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Randomize
