they need to just BURY HIM!
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
