bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
found the other keg... it's in the tree
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
