but the lizard people decide everything anyway
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
