Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
