that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
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