Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
