i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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