i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
