I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
