all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
