ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
