i just had sex bonerless
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
