Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
