Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
You are a genius and a whore.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
