If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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