yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
