goodnight i made you a song goodbye
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
