I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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