So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
We have so much sex to catch up on
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
