Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
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