you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
