11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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