we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Randomize
