Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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