The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
