Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
