a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize