You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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