She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
You may now shotgun with the bride
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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