capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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