idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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