the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
