she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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