So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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