Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
