i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
