honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
They took my balls.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
