Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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