Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
