can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
