Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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