Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
