meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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