We named our party play list daddy issues
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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