I don't usually arrange sex via text message
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
